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Tom Eaton

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

This means the end of the horse-drawn phonograph and the little doggy that looks into it

A first posting, a pebble tossed off a bridge, a canyon cautiously whooped into. Does this require full sentences? Does it count for marks?

I am presented with so many Categories, with a capital C, that they march off the bottom the page. Thank God they aren’t alphabetical or I’d see them disappear at M and lose my nerve completely. But nonetheless they are imposing.

‘Zimbabwe’
‘Genre’
‘Academic’

In that order.

There’s political satire in there somewhere, but it’s probably fairly weak.

It doesn’t say we can’t tick Categories, so I will tick ‘Lesotho’, as they don’t get nearly enough press, and ‘Poetry’, which needs all the support it can get, especially from tall men who can sit in the front row and say ‘Yes, quite’ and ‘That’s what I said’ loudly enough for people to hear, but not so loud as to disrupt the speaker.

There’s also something called ‘Configure your widgets’. This is causes anxiety. I don’t know what a widget is, or whether or not I want one. Is there where I send out one of those awful message-in-a-bottle general questions Whoever Is Listening, saying ‘Hey guyz, any of u kno wot a Widget iz? Luv u stax, Tm’?

 

Recent comments:

  • Ben - Editor
    Ben - Editor
    June 19th, 2008 @09:32 #
     
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    I think Tom Eaton's first post got buried in the CTBF blizzard, so am bringing it back to the top: welcome aboard, Tom!

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 19th, 2008 @10:09 #
     
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    Welcome, Tom. May your widgets be well configured. On Facebook, you can 'poke' people. I'm not quite sure what that entails, because my wife won't let me give it a bash.

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  • <a href="http://louisgreenberg.com" rel="nofollow">Louis Greenberg</a>
    Louis Greenberg
    June 19th, 2008 @12:56 #
     
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    I'm glad he was found again under all that! Welcome, Tom - I look forward to reading more.

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  • <a href="http://rustumkozain.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Rustum Kozain</a>
    Rustum Kozain
    June 19th, 2008 @13:53 #
     
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    Mr. Eaton.

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  • <a href="http://kathrynwhite.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Kathryn</a>
    Kathryn
    June 19th, 2008 @14:53 #
     
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    ur book is on my list of things to read :)

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  • <a href="http://tomeaton.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Tom</a>
    Tom
    June 19th, 2008 @15:37 #
     
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    Thank you, Ben. Nothing like being dragged out of the anonymous pit by the flick of an editor's wrist. Oh, wait, that came out all wrong...

    Richard, thank you for your concern about my widgets. They are doing better, and with any luck should flourish by the autumn.

    Louis, you are too kind.

    Mr. Kozain. I especially like the full stop. Veddy formal. Veddy elegant.

    And Kathryn, isn't it ghastly how all we read nowadays are lists of things we should be reading? I might write at considerable length about that, soon, to delay the onset of reading.

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  • <a href="http://www.sapartridge.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sally</a>
    Sally
    June 19th, 2008 @16:17 #
     
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    Welcome Tom.
    Post one down, a kazillion and six more to go. Woohoo!

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  • <a href="http://rustumkozain.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Rustum Kozain</a>
    Rustum Kozain
    June 19th, 2008 @17:42 #
     
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    Tom, why don't you write something about how you hope to write something about those lists that keep you from reading? Too much perhaps?

    Well, I'm not gonna do it. Richard?

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 19th, 2008 @20:39 #
     
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    This has Sven written all over it.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @12:30 #
     
  • <a href="http://louisgreenberg.com" rel="nofollow">Louis Greenberg</a>
    Louis Greenberg
    June 20th, 2008 @12:57 #
     
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    Nice list, Richard. Read four and acted in one (at school, before the paps come knocking.)

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @13:24 #
     
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    You thespian, you! Guerilla theatre?

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  • <a href="http://louisgreenberg.com" rel="nofollow">Louis Greenberg</a>
    Louis Greenberg
    June 20th, 2008 @13:36 #
     
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    Boys' school - more like gorilla theatre.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @13:54 #
     
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    My stage career evolved as follows - tree, bat, schoolboy #9 (of 10), Malvolio, gay butler.

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  • <a href="http://louisgreenberg.com" rel="nofollow">Louis Greenberg</a>
    Louis Greenberg
    June 20th, 2008 @14:05 #
     
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    Cat, bell-ringer, shepherd, stowaway, Slugworth, savage little 'un (Lord of the Flies), sex-averse priest

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @14:30 #
     
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    Impressive! Pity you were eventually typecast for "S" roles.

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    June 20th, 2008 @17:04 #
     
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    Trojan, Rag Doll, Emperor's Courtier, Bavarian Farmer, Bottom (type cast), Tybalt.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @17:16 #
     
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    Good list! But posh.

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    June 20th, 2008 @17:27 #
     
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    Private school education old chap, otherwise wasted.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @18:08 #
     
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    Come now, Sven, you know that's not true.

    Are you covering Euro 2008, by the way? You mentioned sports writing.

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    June 20th, 2008 @18:22 #
     
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    Yes, and it involves a fair bit of creativity since I haven't taken it upon myself to actually watch any of the games. I generally start with the score and then imagine what happened during the game, inserting names of goal-scorers at relevant points. I hear Australia are going to win it?

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 20th, 2008 @20:29 #
     
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    I deserved and needed that. Still chortling.

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    June 20th, 2008 @21:35 #
     
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    I'm happy I came into contact with the Euro 2008 while in Switzerland. It introduced me to the least intimidating war cry on earth - 'Hopp Schwiiz!'
    No wonder they went out in the first round.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 21st, 2008 @00:10 #
     
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    That's what I usually shout when I'm at the urinal.

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  • <a href="http://www.sapartridge.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sally</a>
    Sally
    June 21st, 2008 @11:30 #
     
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    *giggles*

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    June 21st, 2008 @12:13 #
     
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    You're meant to aim at the fly, it avoids that sort of thing.

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  • <a href="http://richarddenooy.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Richard de Nooy</a>
    Richard de Nooy
    June 21st, 2008 @12:21 #
     
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    I recently had an unnerving experience in a hotel room, where they had a full-wall mirror behind the toilet. I saw myself taking a hopp schwiiz for the first time. Good thing I didn't aim at my reflected fly.

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